“Communications technology is shrinking the world.” But one consequence is that technology is sidelining our personal ability to communicate. Is the cause:
1. Generational? Most under-thirties are suspected of confusing communication with button-pushing and ignoring those they can’t hear for the headphones.
2. Political? Grammar was dropped from the national curriculum so fewer can structure thoughts well enough to string a sentence together.
3. Managerial? Laurence Peter’s dictum that “every employee rises to their level of incompetence”, i.e. great staff, shame about the managers.
So, how to cope with new trends like sharing more information with other professionals and patients? It’s not a big deal. It simply involves many small, delicate, personal interactions. If we took responsibility for these more often and spent less time apportioning blame afterwards, we might be better at communicating.
Some special people have the knack of touching others in ways that matter; a kind word here, a refusal to put up with any nonsense there or a willingness to waste three minutes in idle banter elsewhere in spite of grave tasks ahead. They are aware of the context and are able to create instant rapport and empathy while drawing upon superb time management skills. Call it a tactical sense, well developed antennae or supreme self-confidence, but it works.
The best of them keep a low profile; listening before speaking, not speaking without listening; asking without assumptions, not telling with prejudice; probing to the heart of the matter, not accepting bullshit.
With enough time and the right attitude you can influence anyone. Your agenda has to be open, not hidden. But the larger the organisation the more tactical you must be to succeed. It’s a fine judgement which, in the end, comes down to trust. If part of your role is to influence the next generation, they need to trust what you say to them. You can’t influence people who don’t trust you.
Consider these aspects of influencing:
1. Commitment: People are more likely to do what they commit to of their own accord. It’s the basis of the coaching philosophy. Are you able to convince others’ with the strength of your arguments, rather than the threat of your power?
2. Reciprocity: What you give is what you get back - show trust in others first.
3. Expertise: People are more likely to heed the advice of experts - do you sound as if you know what you are talking about?
4. Example: People will sooner copy what they see you do, than do what you tell them. Would you believe a politician talking about thrift and integrity while reading their latest expenses claim?
5. Liking: People like people who like them. Although a subjective claim, accept that you won’t hit it off with everyone but it helps when you can - do most of your colleagues like you?
Influence has a malign aspect too. Don’t forget that mood and attitude can often be unconsciously revealed by body language before you say a word. Tread softly…
This is Bob Mathers’ second article in this three-part series on communication. Read the first article.
Bob provides non-clinical communications training for health professionals. Email him on bobmathers@btinternet.com or call 07816 230 213.
Tags: Communication
