Why are MPs such an arrogant, conniving, venal, workshy, badly dressed bunch of tossers? Half of them didn’t even do to public school for arse’s sake!
Yet they laud it over us in their cheap suits and smarmy hairstyles, sticking their little piggy snouts in the taxpayers’ trough so they can dredge their moats and watch their wank movies and flip their houses.
Mind you that Caroline Flint is a bit of alright…
Phwoar! She could come and MINISTER my housing any day; I’d have her on my FRONT BENCH and introduce her to my HONOURABLE MEMBER…
(Cough).
Sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah. MPs. Anyway, there’s all this talk about how they’re going to sort out the expenses business. How can we properly remunerate our elective representatives? How can we ensure that talent and hard work is rewarded?
Well, I hate to say it, but the answer is staring us all in the face.
There is a scheme for rewarding a group of public servants that is fair, equitable, open, completely non-corrupt, and administered without fear or favour and without any regard for personal gain or one-upmanship, and definitely not via any kind of back-scratching old boy’s network, rewarding those who work the hardest for the public good, and never the skivers.
That’s right, we should make our MPs apply for Clinical Excellence Merit Discretionary Points Awards, or whatever those lumps of cash we get are called….
Genius or what?
(That reminds me, I’ve got a case of claret to send to Professor Pimbley-Pombley, chair of our local committee. I’m definitely feeling lucky this year…)
Tags: CEAs
