Bloody arsing students. Is it me, or are they all useless whingeing crybabies who reckon they need to be spoonfed everything on a plate?
Teaching students used to be fun. They’d be so keen to suck up to you that you could tell them any old crap and they’d be grateful, then they’d all get squiffy at the firm party and the pretty ones would sit on your knee. You could humiliate them on ward rounds, cancel teaching sessions, leave them to finish the clinic, and they’d love you for it.
But as with so much of the world, it’s all become completely arse about face. Can you believe that the Middle Bit of England Medical School now routinely asks them for feedback? I mean, asks THEM!!? What the arsing hell is that all about? As if anyone gives a flying badger’s rectum what they think about anything, let alone the ‘quality of their teaching’.
Here’s a few examples of ‘feedback’:
“Mr Nelson frequently failed to turn up for appointed tutorials and was frequently rude to patients on ward rounds.”
“At first I thought Mr Nelson was trying hard to memorise my name badge, but I soon realised he was just staring at my chest.”
“The only thing Mr Nelson said to me during my entire eight-week attachment was that radiologists are all gay. My father is a radiologist.”
And I’m like: where are they getting this nonsense from?
Any students reading this? Right - here’s the deal. I supply the gems of wisdom honed through years of experience at the very highest level in the greatest profession on God’s earth, and you supply the gratitude. That’s it. Class dismissed!
Tags: Humour
Jerry - doing anything tonight, big boy?
Bob, look, I’m flattered, but it’ll never work
Ah, halcyon days of med student teaching. A colleague, now sadly retired, taught with similar vigor.
When delivering a didactic lecture on history taking, he concluded swiftly then made ready to leave. Some bright young young medical student had the temerity to ask a question. Of him, a Consultant, having already generously proferred his wise counsel.
Of course, her question on history taking and her contention to address “the patient agenda” was dismissed. “There’s my way, and the wrong way. Now, why’re we still talking about this?” And out he swept for a well earned G&T.