So, another one of Gordon’s GOATs bites the dust. His Majesty The Lord Kharzi of Polyclinic has decided to step down from his role as health minister, in order to spend more time looking up people’s arses. I expect he’ll be giving back his life peerage too, now he doesn’t need it any more.
GOAT, by the way, is an acronym derived from Gordon Brown’s plan to create a Government Of All the Tossers. Most of the high profile Tossers recruited from industry and the professions have resigned, but luckily for Gordon, there is a near-infinite supply of Tossers in the Labour Party to replace them.
Sorry if I sound a tad bitter, but the PM rather missed a trick by appointing such a lightweight quitter, when he had the opportunity to engage someone vastly better: me.
That’s right. I, Jerry Nelson, offered my services based on my skill and experience in real surgery (not all this ‘minimal access’ nonense - that’s just for wimps who are scared to make a really BIG hole), and the fact that I was judged to be the 17th most influential figure in health care by leading publication Hospital Doctor Magazine.
I offered Gordo very reasonable terms - peerage, obviously, modest high six-figure salary, the use of a couple of grace-and-favour homes, and an ermine theatre hat - but what happened? I didn’t even get an arsing reply.
So, like fools, they missed out on my revolutionary ideas for the NHS based on named consultant car parking spaces. What will this cost us in the long run? We’ll never know.
Tags: Darzi review, Humour
