Nelson’s Column, Bolg, Blog, whatever…

“A bit of fatigue drives efficiency in our beloved NHS”

First of all, let me apologise for the hiatus since my previous column. One of my recent entrepreneurial ventures - into what can best be described as the ...

This is no time to be lily livered about surgery

Brand new liver anyone? Jeez! So a surgeon burned his initials on the surface of a transplanted liver – so bloody what? No-one complains about artists s...

The next generation of doctors are a bunch of wimps

Call themselves surgeons? Last time, I devoted my whole column to a measured response to the GMC’s latest half-arsed survey, and today, it’s tempting ...

No such thing as fair when it comes to the GMC

Fair?...I’ll give them ****ing fair! You may have seen that the GM sodding C are carrying out a survey to see if we think they’re ‘fair’. It will ...

Real men – meaning surgeons – really do have the big cojones

More balls from the researchers But this time, in a good way. It was reassuring to have my own prejudices confirmed - namely that those namby-pamby 'new m...

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your lab created ears

Time for the booze to flow ‘Mixed messages’ my arse! Why shouldn’t private patients be given alcohol with their hospital food? Nothing nicer than a ...

Only Superman (or a nice couple from Leeds) can save us now…

One rule for managers... Bloody marvellous, isn’t it? I indulge in a little light-hearted horseplay and get my P45, but if you’re an arseing manager a...

I’m the Man U of surgery despite relegation threat

Ello, ello, ello What’s all this then? Drafting in police to help out with the bedpans? Admittedly, it’s only in Scotland, so it doesn’t matter very...

Who’s better: surgeon or gas man? One way to find out…

Apologies for the slight hiatus in Nelson's Column, but I’ve been away. Australia, to be exact, and I have to say that although Aussie blokes might lack ...

New edition of the Journal of the Bleeding Obvious

I’m in the wrong job If you’ll excuse the expression, arse bloody arsington arse! The Irish Medical Organization (IMO) has decided it needs to renegot...

Betting on cancer patients more fun than online poker

Dead easy I never thought I would have cause to be grateful to foreigners or the Daily Mail, but a happy conjunction of the two finds me in a state of som...