Messy Business

Weird and wonderful stories from the theatres, wards and corridors of our hospitals. To contribute email editorial@hospitaldr.co.uk

The Things They Say: raising the curtain once more

By Mike Broad - 1st February 2010 12:04 pm

No so long ago, in a magazine with a similar name, we used to run a funny format called ‘The things they say’.

The ‘they’ related mainly to medical secretaries, and the ‘things’ concerned the nonsense they’d write in referral letters after mishearing or misunderstanding the doctor’s dictation.

Unlike my usual musings these days, it was genuinely funny. And I’d like to revive it. I can’t do this alone. What I need is for you lot to start submitting the examples which cross your desks once more.

You can either type the relevant bit of the letter into an email (remember to give it the context of preceding sentences) or scan the letter (suitably anonymised) and email a digital copy. Send them to editorial@hospitaldr.co.uk and label them The things they say. 

So, let’s make a start, here’s one from the vault just to whet your appetite:

Dear Doctor,

Thank you for seeing this lady whose ultrasound scan results show gallstones. My colleague has recently referred her to gastroenterology but I feel an operatic procedure will be more likely.

Yours…

Just goes to show it isn’t over until the fat lady sings.

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