One doctor looks to be paying a heavy price for his green credentials. Dr Alan Bittner, who runs a cosmetic surgery clinic in Beverly Hills, is facing a lawsuit from several patients after they discovered how he was powering his car.
“I’ve performed over 7,000 liposuctions during the past decade and I’ve never had a single serious complication,” explained Dr Bittner to Cosmetic Surgery News. “However, I am left with a hell of a lot of fat and I don’t like to waste it so I convert it into bio-diesel, or what I call ‘lipodiesel’. One gallon of fat will produce a gallon of lipodiesel, and I’ve been using it for months to power my Ford Explorer and my girlfriend’s Lincoln Navigator.”
Unfortunately, California just isn’t ready for Dr Bittner’s big idea. “I apologise for any offence given, none was intended,” he said. “I merely meant to show that alternative energy is all around us, if we open our eyes and have a sense of curiosity. I would like to make it clear that rumours about me having a private jet that runs on human fat are entirely untrue.”
Thanks must go to Private Eye for spotting this one. Taking Dr Bittner’s lead, dear reader, are there any other hitherto undiscovered sources of energy we can harness? Managerial hot air is my opening bid…
Tags: Cosmetic surgery
What a visionary!? Solving obesity and finding a sustainable energy source in one fell swoop. This guy will be up there with Jenner, Harvey and Lister in a few years. Probably posthumously, now his jet’s running on empty…