Messy Business

Weird and wonderful stories from the theatres, wards and corridors of our hospitals. To contribute email editorial@hospitaldr.co.uk

Forget mince pies, don’t mince (or mangle) your words

By Mike Broad - 22nd December 2009 10:18 pm

Ho, ho, ho. Tis the season of good will, and a chance to laugh at the NHS’ inability to express itself. I was dismayed to see health services featuring prominently in the Plain English Campaign’s Golden Bull Awards.

One patient explains: “I arrive at my GP, only to be told that I haven’t until I converse with a screen that invites me to ‘Touch the screen to arrive’. My electronic check-in is completed by touching a virtual button labelled ‘arrive me’.”

Oh dear, it seemed such a good idea at the partners’ meeting…

But the Department of Health tops it on their website with some wise words on prevention.  

“Primary, secondary and tertiary prevention: primary prevention includes health promotion and requires action on the determinants of health to prevent disease occurring. It has been described as refocusing upstream to stop people falling in the waters of disease.”

But not even our health bureaucracy can compete with the King of Spin, Lord Mandelson, on MPs’ expenses. “Perhaps we need not more people looking round more corners but the same people looking round more corners more thoroughly to avoid the small things detracting from the big things the Prime Minister is getting right.”

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