Writing blogs when wearing rubber pants

Hello, it’s good to be here. No, really, it is. I was sorry to see the print edition of Hospital Doctor fold in 2007. It was the only topical and occasionally light-hearted magazine for hospital doctors (unless you count the BMJ, but I’m never sure if they mean to be funny).

GPs still had Pulse and GP, but us toilers at the secondary care coalface had nowhere to go for a bit of news, comment and light relief, so I was glad to see we have an online successor to the old redtop.

I was even happier when asked if I’d like to contribute. I’m now approaching the bottom of the inexorable downward spiral that ends in retirement, rubber pants and driving very slowly in the middle of the road, and I’m going to need something to keep me occupied when I finally stop working. It’s either this or start talking to the wife, and I fear that a sudden burst of conversation might be a bit of a shock for her after 37 years.

So, anyway, I had a look at the other contributors to this section to see what sort of stuff I was going to be expected to produce and, frankly, to assess the competition. You’ll have noticed that I’m a radiologist and, being perceptive people, you’ll also have noticed that at least one of the other bloggers is similarly afflicted: the one I’m thinking of is Sarah Burnett-Moore.

Now this gives me a bit of a problem - not the fact that she’s a radiologist - but the fact that she’s Sarah Burnett-Moore. I was hoping to adopt the role of class clown, but Sarah’s funnier than me (I was going to say even funnier than me, but I don’t want you to think I’m full of myself, not on the first date).

I know she’s funnier than me because she occasionally contributed to the RCR newsletter when I was editing it and it really used to irritate me. And there’s a witty anaesthetist to contend with as well, not to mention all the other erudite contributors. So, I might be reduced to casting around for a serious topic occasionally, but luckily there’s no shortage of those at the moment.

I should probably warn you that contributions in subsequent weeks are likely to contain more than their fair share of variations on a ‘things are not what they used to be’ theme. That’s because they’re not, and I’m old. Deal with it, as our American cousins say.

Sorry, that sounded a bit abrupt. I’m not like that…really, I’m not. As I hope you’ll find out, if I can think of anything to write about.