Was it only on the 13 May that I was expressing the hope that Andrew Lansley et al would bring a breath of fresh air to health care politics? (yes, it was - Ed). Did I really believe that a move away from NuLabour’s micromanagement of (interfering with) the NHS would represent a great step forward for those of us beavering away at the coalface? (yes, that was certainly the impression you gave - Ed). What a naive prat I was. Today we will see the white paper setting out the coalition’s vision for the future, and what are they going to do? They are going to give all the money to the GPs and tell them to get on with it and commission the services they think their patients need.
In my last blog, I had cause to use the expression ‘arse’, and as any good medical writer should, I was careful to reference my source - in this case, Jerry Nelson. I now feel that I may need recourse to Jerry’s meta-anal expression of ‘arsington arse’, or maybe even the ultimate ‘arsington arsey McArse’. Because there really is no other way to express an opinion on this new Big Idea. I mean, what do GPs want for their patients? They want more of everything, and they want it now. And that’s exactly what I want my GP to want for me. More. Now. But that doesn’t really equip them to take a lead in the commissioning of global services across the board, now does it?
And, anyway, I thought they were all busy? That’s what they keep telling us - they may not have to do any out-of-hours work any more, but some of the poor buggers only have one half day off a week (and when I say ‘week’, I do of course refer to the five days from Monday to Friday - sometimes even including Friday). So how are they going to find time to decide how much of my specialty (radiology) to purchase? And let’s face it, they won’t need any stereotactic brain surgery at all, will they, because they can’t recall anyone on their list actually needing that for absolutely ages, so why waste the money? Much better to use it to buy motability scooters for their patients who are Tired All the Time, or just too sodding fat to walk.
But perhaps I don’t understand. Perhaps it will all become clear when I see today’s white paper. And perhaps Wayne Rooney will win next year’s Man-Booker prize for his sensitive depiction of gay love in post-war Oxbridge.
Tags: Commissioning, GPs
[...] left, ranging from the philosophical (Can you really liberate state-funding from the state?) to the specific (‘Arsington arsey McArse’ must surely be the most succinct summation yet of Mr Lansley’s [...]